Saturday, November 04, 2006

YouSee-BS Evening News

YouSEE-BS Evening News

Tonight on the youSEE-BS evening news fraudcast: Madonna "liberates" her child; New controversial Iranian infomercial; What were they going to call the I-Pod, originally ?; Sen. Harry Reid accepts numerous accolades/awards from guess who ?

And much much more. But first, a word from some capitalist lacky:

Can't make it to the beheading ? Something happened on the way to the genecide ? Well, worry no more my devilish friend because we have the answer to all of your attrocity coordinating delemas, it's, GO TO EVIL LAIR !TM When you want to cause horror and mayhem but just can't get there, remember the first name in events unsane,it's always, GO TO EVIL LAIR !TM
Say you're raping a young kidnapped starlet but, Oh Darn ! They're holding the mass execution at the same time ! Fret no more my strangely groomed friend because you have, GO TO EVIL LAIR !TM
"I saw it at work with my own eyes ! My dear freind, Mr 'Shmussein' I'll call him, used it all of the time ! Whether there was a beheading in B--dad, a hand removal in B--ra, a de-tounging in T-krit or a genecide in the K--dish region, it was as if he was right there enjoying those moments in all of their splendor and 'dying color' ! All while raping one of our, er um, his countries poor unfortunate victims of a targeted and very tragic 'suicide'. Wink wink,nudge nudge, you know what I mean ? Man I tell ya, that 'Shmadaam' really knew how to party." Eason J. CNN, Georgia

So always remember, and don't forget, despots on the go and cave hopping terrorists alike never go crazy, they, GO TO EVIL LAIRTM
GO TO EVIL LAIR is a product of Oil For Bombs inc. which is a subsidiary of Go-Tell-It-On-The-U.N. Industries

And now, tonights spews:
First up, as has been the pattern with liberal icons who rip the Bush administration to shreds, Harry Reid today was honored with a library dedicated in his name by G. Bush #41 and recieved the first ever, "You are the greatest human being that has ever lived" award from George W. himself. The latter ceremony included the unveiling of a marble statue in the apparent likeness of Sen. Reid in the stance of holding the entire world on his shoulders.
The President smiled politely as Sen. Reid responded to all of the well deserved tributes with a small statement of facts. "This President is a blight on humanity. I predict that he will eventually preside over the total destruction of the Earth itself. Oh yeah, and thanks for the statue or whatever you stupid loser !"
A fox news attackdog reporter was heard to say, "But..." just before he was knocked unconscious and arrested for assaulting Senate royalty, uh, the attempted assassination of a sitting US Senator.

In other news, the worlds greatest entertainer -next to Babs that is- Madonna, has decided to do the right thing and free her child from her own motherly grip, returning her to the soveriegn in which she was born. Her belief in the "Church of Dema-Commie-Kofi-ism" requires that she loosen her grip on the concept of "personal accountabilty".
"That is a mode that's sooo passe, I mean really !

Now for tonights "lib-bits" segment:
Since the sanctions imposed on North Korea started, their great and glorious leader has begun marketing a new item on all of the Al Jazeera and similar networks like CNN, ABC, NBC, MSNBC and of course, right here on yours truly's network. This great and wonderful new technological wonder ? The "Warhead Kozy" ! Check it out late night or just go to for the link.

Finally in our, "Watchoo talkin' 'bout", culture segment, a story so lame that only I could tell it: Knock knock. Who's there ? Juwana. Juwana who ? Juwana know the names they tried for the "I-pod" before it took over the world ? Sure. Well, there was the "me-me-me-me-me-machine" and of course for the hip-hop culture there was the "FUMAN." . We'll let you guess what that meant, ha ha. Goodnight for now and remember that the "Freedom to be correct" segment will return tommorow with Noam Chomsky bringing things back over towards the right from where they've been lately. For now, just call me Katie... suckers...

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